What I didn't want to say

So it has been some time since I wrote, which you may have thought I was just busy and was not able to do my once a week post. In reality, I just didn't want to say.

Some time ago at work we were notified of lay offs higher up in the cooperation and that a low seniority list would be made so as a last alternative the people could look at jobs that they were qualified for a possibly "bump" a person out of their job. We lucky me, I was on the low seniority list and someone out there decided it was best for them to bump me out of my job.

I know.
fantastic .
super.

It is still kind of unreal since I am still there and will be through most of June. And its super unreal because I really have no answers to where to go from here. Currently I am waiting for news from a human resources rep for what jobs are open (which there are pretty much none in our area, so I would probably end up commuting). And I am also looking at comparable jobs that are open.

I thought upon hearing the news I would be super bummed or depressed or sad, and really my main feeling was embarrassed.

super embarrassed. I mean its an awesome job. where can I go from here thats much better? And here it was such a big deal, a big answered prayer that I got it. And now, I don't. How could I loose it? I didn't do anything wrong...

It's the last thing I expected to feel or have overwhelm me, but I still am kind of in this fog of embarrassment and confusion. And then there is that now what feeling while Skyler and I try to find solutions for every circumstance that could come from this. Which is hard considering we do not have much information yet.

We refrained from really saying anything to anyone for a bit of time. We had family visiting so there was no way we could mention anything then, and plus, we do not have answers and really we don't want people to worry about us.  We know it will be okay, we know that it will work out because God always takes care of us. Definitely not the way we expected, or currently think we want, but we know that it will end up taking us to a better place. It's just scary.

I recently visited the compounding pharmacy in our area which actually has me really excited because it  is a lab pharmacy where it wouldn't be so much retail, but more so the science part of it which I love.  But it is still all up in the air what will happen. We just keep praying. And praying. andddd praying.

And counting blessings. I find this is the most comforting

So yes, this is what has been happening. I am not sure yet what we will learn or maybe what we are learning, but this is whats happening.

So some things for you all, since who knows if you are here or have these thoughts ---

Proverbs 3:5-6
Phillipians 4:13
Matthew6:25-27

((credit due to my fantastic friends with bible verses for random statuses. ))

oh and more things happen. not very fantastic things. but you will just have to wait :)

God Works in Mysterious Ways