and it all ended with a horse's hug

So as if there was not enough to think about with the still occurring back problems from the car accident and working all that insurance stuff out, my now new problem with my job, I found something else out; I had a lump on my breast right against the wall of my chest. And like I said, we had family in town and I work pretty much as long as my doctors office is open, so the waiting began.

Luckily my mother in law is an oncology nurse so I had her take a look and see if it was anything to scoff about and she too suggested I have it looked at. But I have one day off and of course my doctor is completely booked for the day. So I keep getting calls back and forth with her nurse since she knows my history as well as my mom's and she referred me to see a specialist.

A whaa?
So if I am not already kind of worried, when my doctor just bypasses me to a specialist I get really nervous.

And so then I am waiting for a call from some other doctor to make an appointment... and of course when I finally do get a call we see that with my crazy schedule and her almost exact hours I cannot be seen until June.

JUNE.? seriously. I cannot wait to see what this lump on my chest is until June! And even more terrifyingly, what is supposed to happen to see what this lump is. I hate needles. Mammograms do not sound like fun. Ugh.

Like an answered prayer the receptionist calls me two days later and says she had a last minute cancel for monday (THANK HOLY CRAPPING COW). But it wasn't until I was faced with it on monday that I was going to a doctor I had never met, at a place I had never been, doing who knows what to my body, where I would hear who knows what news, by myself. As it got closer to the appointment time I was so scared, I even thought about making a different appointment so maybe Sky could go with me. Luckily, I had met with my sweet friend, Katie and baby Clara, and she had prayed with me and reminded me that I am never really alone.

So, I finally get to the doctors and they actually used an ultra sound to detect the exact location and see if it was cancerous or not (apparently the tissue looks differently). The whole process was actually incredibly fascinating, as the little medical nerd popped out of my as I watched her search by breast tissue for cysts. She did find one that was tiny and she said nothing to worry about as it had no abnormal tissue in it and the large lump I felt? "Your just a boney little girl" is how she explained it. "when your tiny like you are your ribs tend to push out and you do have a good chunk of tissue that rolls over it just like a lump, but all it is is tissue". Yup. a tissue lump on my rib, which was now inflamed from me pushing on it so much so it seemed even more like a cyst. I felt really dumb, but she told me it is much better that I came in, we now know of one to keep an eye on, and I know not to push that spot unless I want another one to form.

It was an exhausting day, full of emotion, since I was about on the verge of tears the whole day since I had no idea what the outcome would be, and since I had been holding in all this craziness for so long. From the doctors I went to see my ponies. My sweet Belle nickered as soon as she saw me and I wrapped my arms around her chest and said "guess what, mommy's not sick" and she wrapped her neck around me to give me a big hug. The best cure for anything. Always an answered prayer.